A 'Not So Happy' 2012

No celebrations!! Just one statement "One year can change so much!" With less but heavy losses and more but light victories I move towards 2013 with a hopeless heart..not happy because I lost my gold key some 8 months back (refer to THE WANTED KEY  post) and am still searching it..the small victories of 2012 donot bring any happiness to my heart because the key was so precious that I have not accepted the loss yet...May God return my gold key back so that my heart gets satisfied..if not then may God give me a better key which  attracts my heart more and leads me to a more attractive door...but then what could be better than gold...which key could be better than the gold key???nothing in world is as attractive as gold..lets see if I can find something more precious than gold...hoping for some heavy and joyful victories this year..wishing everyone a happy and safe 2013!

This Magic Tap Fountain has a pipe hidden in the stream of water Located in Aqualand, Spain. 

Below is the transcript of the talk of Dr Richard Teo who is a 40 year old millionaire and a cosmetic surgeon with a stage 4 lung cancer but selflessly came to share  with the D1 class his life experiences on 19th Jan 2012. Sorry for the small font..its a copy and paste and there was no way i could make the font size better..

Hi good morning to 

all of you. My voice is a bit hoarse, so please bear with me. I though

t 

I'll just introduce myself. My name is Richard, I'm a medical doctor. And I thought I'll just share some thoughts of my life. It's my pleasure to be invited by prof. Hopefully, it can get you thinking about how... as you pursue this.. embarking on your training to become dental surgeons, to think about other things as well.

Since young, I am a typical product of today's society. Relatively successful product that society requires.. From young, I came from a below average family. I was told by the media... and people around me that happiness is about success. And that success is about being wealthy. With this mind-set, I've always be extremely competitive, since I was young.

Not only do I need to go to the top school, I need to have success in all fields. Uniform groups, track, everything. I needed to get trophies, needed to be successful, I needed to have colours award, national colours award, everything. So I was highly competitive since young. I went on to medical school, graduated as a doctor. Some of you may know that within the medical faculty, ophthalmology is one of the most highly sought after specialities. So I went after that as well. I was given a traineeship in ophthalmology, I was also given a research scholarship by NUS to develop lasers to treat the eye. 

So in the process, I was given 2 patents, one for the medical devices, and another for the lasers. And you know what, all this academic achievements did not bring me any wealth. So once I completed my bond with MOH, I decided that this is taking too long, the training in eye surgery is just taking too long. And there's lots of money to be made in the private sector. If you're aware, in the last few years, there is this rise in aesthetic medicine. Tons of money to be made there. So I decided, well, enough of staying in institution, it's time to leave. So I quit my training halfway and I went on to set up my aesthetic clinic... in town, together with a day surgery centre.

You know the irony is that people do not make heroes out average GP (general practitioner), family physicians. They don't. They make heroes out of people who are rich and famous. People who are not happy to pay $20 to see a GP, the same person have no qualms paying ten thousand dollars for a liposuction, 15 thousand dollars for a breast augmentation, and so on and so forth. So it's a no brainer isn't? Why do you want to be a gp? Become an aesthetic physician. So instead of healing the sick and ill, I decided that I'll become a glorified beautician. So, business was good, very good. It started off with waiting of one week, then became 3weeks, then one month, then 2 months, then 3 months. I was overwhelmed; there were just too many patients. Vanities are fantastic business. I employed one doctor, the second doctor, the 3rd doctor, the 4th doctor. And within the 1st year, we're already raking in millions. Just the 1st year. But never is enough because I was so obsessed with it. I started to expand into Indonesia to get all the rich Indonesian tai-tais who wouldn't blink an eye to have a procedure done. So life was really good.

So what do I do with the spare cash. How do I spend my weekends? Typically, I'll have car club gatherings. I take out my track car, with spare cash I got myself a track car. We have car club gatherings. We'll go up to Sepang in Malaysia. We'll go for car racing. And it was my life. With other spare cash, what do i do? I get myself a Ferrari. At that time, the 458 wasn't out, it's just a spider convertible, 430. This is a friend of mine, a schoolmate who is a forex trader, a banker. So he got a red one, he was wanting all along a red one, I was getting the silver one.

So what do I do after getting a car? It's time to buy a house, to build our own bungalows. So we go around looking for a land to build our own bungalows, we went around hunting. So how do i live my life? Well, we all think we have to mix around with the rich and famous. This is one of the Miss Universe. So we hang around with the beautiful, rich and famous. This by the way is an internet founder. So this is how we spend our lives, with dining and all the restaurants and Michelin Chefs you know. 

So I reach a point in life that I got everything for my life. I was at the pinnacle of my career and all. That's me one year ago in the gym and I thought I was like, having everything under control and reaching the pinnacle.

Well, I was wrong. I didn't have everything under control. About last year March, I started to develop backache in the middle of nowhere. I thought maybe it was all the heavy squats I was doing. So I went to SGH, saw my classmate to do an MRI, to make sure it's not a slipped disc or anything. And that evening, he called me up and said that we found bone marrow replacement in your spine. I said, sorry what does that mean? I mean I know what it means, but I couldn't accept that. I was like “Are you serious?” I was still running around going to the gym you know. But we had more scans the next day, PET scans - positrons emission scans, they found that actually I have stage 4 terminal lung cancer. I was like "Whoa where did that come from?” It has already spread to the brain, the spine, the liver and the adrenals. And you know one moment I was there, totally thinking that I have everything under control, thinking that I've reached the pinnacle of my life. But the next moment, I have just lost it. 

This is a CT scan of the lungs itself. If you look at it, every single dot there is a tumour. We call this miliaries tumour. And in fact, I have tens of thousands of them in the lungs. So, I was told that even with chemotherapy, that I'll have about 3-4months at most. Did my life come crushing on, of course it did, who wouldn't? I went into depression, of course, severe depression and I thought I had everything. 

See the irony is that all these things that I have, the success, the trophies, my cars, my house and all. I thought that brought me happiness. But i was feeling really down, having severe depression. Having all these thoughts of my possessions, they brought me no joy. The thought of... You know, I can hug my Ferrari to sleep, no... No, it is not going to happen. It brought not a single comfort during my last ten months. And I thought they were, but they were not true happiness. But it wasn't. What really brought me joy in the last ten months was interaction with people, my loved ones, friends, people who genuinely care about me, they laugh and cry with me, and they are able to identify the pain and suffering I was going through. That brought joy to me, happiness. None of the things I have, all the possessions, and I thought those were supposed to bring me happiness. But it didn't, because if it did, I would have felt happy think about it, when I was feeling most down..

You know the classical Chinese New Year that is coming up. In the past, what do I do? Well, I will usually drive my flashy car to do my rounds, visit my relatives, to show it off to my friends. And I thought that was joy, you know. I thought that was really joy. But do you really think that my relatives and friends, whom some of them have difficulty trying to make ends meet, that will truly share the joy with me? Seeing me driving my flashy car and showing off to them? No, no way. They won’t be sharing joy with me. They were having problems trying to make ends meet, taking public transport. In fact i think, what I have done is more like you know, making them envious, jealous of all I have. In fact, sometimes even hatred.

Those are what we call objects of envy. I have them, I show them off to them and I feel it can fill my own pride and ego. That didn't bring any joy to these people, to my friends and relatives, and I thought they were real joy. 

Well, let me just share another story with you. You know when I was about your age, I stayed in king Edward VII hall. I had this friend whom I thought was strange. Her name is Jennifer, we're still good friends. And as I walk along the path, she would, if she sees a snail, she would actually pick up the snail and put it along the grass patch. I was like why do you need to do that? Why dirty your hands? It’s just a snail. The truth is she could feel for the snail. The thought of being crushed to death is real to her, but to me it's just a snail. If you can't get out of the pathway of humans then you deserve to be crushed, it’s part of evolution isn't it? What an irony isn't it?

There I was being trained as a doctor, to be compassionate, to be able to empathise; but I couldn't. As a house officer, I graduated from medical school, posted to the oncology department at NUH. And, every day, every other day I witness death in the cancer department. When I see how they suffered, I see all the pain they went through. I see all the morphine they have to press every few minutes just to relieve their pain. I see them struggling with their oxygen breathing their last breath and all. But it was just a job. When I went to clinic every day, to the wards every day, take blood, give the medication but was the patient real to me? They weren't real to me. It was just a job, I do it, I get out of the ward, I can't wait to get home, I do my own stuff. 

Was the pain, was the suffering the patients went through real? No. Of course I know all the medical terms to describe how they feel, all the suffering they went through. But in truth, I did not know how they feel, not until I became a patient. It is until now; I truly understand how they feel. And, if you ask me, would I have been a very different doctor if I were to re-live my life now, I can tell you yes I will. Because I truly understand how the patients feel now. And sometimes, you have to learn it the hard way. 

Even as you start just your first year, and you embark this journey to become dental surgeons, let me just challenge you on two fronts. 

Inevitably, all of you here will start to go into private practice. You will start to accumulate wealth. I can guarantee you. Just doing an implant can bring you thousands of dollars, it's fantastic money. And actually there is nothing wrong with being successful, with being rich or wealthy, absolutely nothing wrong. The only trouble is that a lot of us like myself couldn't handle it.

Why do I say that? Because when I start to accumulate, the more I have, the more I want. The more I wanted, the more obsessed I became. Like what I showed you earlier on, all I can was basically to get more possessions, to reach the pinnacle of what society did to us, of what society wants us to be. I became so obsessed that nothing else really mattered to me. Patients were just a source of income, and I tried to squeeze every single cent out of these patients. 

A lot of times we forget, whom we are supposed to be serving. We become so lost that we serve nobody else but just ourselves. That was what happened to me. Whether it is in the medical, the dental fraternity, I can tell you, right now in the private practice, sometimes we just advise patients on treatment that is not indicated. Grey areas. And even though it is not necessary, we kind of advocate it. Even at this point, I know who are my friends and who genuinely cared for me and who are the ones who try to make money out of me by selling me "hope". We kind of lose our moral compass along the way. Because we just want to make money. 

Worse, I can tell you, over the last few years, we bad mouth our fellow colleagues, our fellow competitors in the industry. We have no qualms about it. So if we can put them down to give ourselves an advantage, we do it. And that's what happening right now, medical, dental everywhere. My challenge to you is not to lose that moral compass. I learnt it the hard way, I hope you don't ever have to do it.

Secondly, a lot of us will start to get numb to our patients as we start to practise. Whether is it government hospitals, private practice, I can tell you when I was in the hospital, with stacks of patient folders, I can't wait to get rid of those folders as soon as possible; I can't wait to get patients out of my consultation room as soon as possible because there is just so many, and that's a reality. Because it becomes a job, a very routine job. And this is just part of it. Do I truly know how the patient feels back then? No, I don't. The fears and anxiety and all, do I truly understand what they are going through? I don't, not until when this happens to me and I think that is one of the biggest flaws in our system. 

We’re being trained to be healthcare providers, professional, and all and yet we don't know how exactly they feel. I'm not asking you to get involved emotionally, I don't think that is professional but do we actually make a real effort to understand their pain and all? Most of us won’t, alright, I can assure you. So don't lose it, my challenge to you is to always be able to put yourself in your patient's shoes. 

Because the pain, the anxiety, the fear are very real even though it's not real to you, it's real to them. So don't lose it and you know, right now I'm in the midst of my 5th cycle of my chemotherapy. I can tell you it’s a terrible feeling. Chemotherapy is one of those things that you don't wish even your enemies to go through because it's just suffering, lousy feeling, throwing out, you don't even know if you can retain your meals or not. Terrible feeling! And even with whatever little energy now I have, I try to reach out to other cancer patients because I truly understand what pain and suffering is like. But it's kind of little too late and too little.

You guys have a bright future ahead of you with all the resource and energy, so I’m going to challenge you to go beyond your immediate patients. To understand that there are people out there who are truly in pain, truly in hardship. Don’t get the idea that only poor people suffer. It is not true. A lot of these poor people do not have much in the first place, they are easily contented. for all you know they are happier than you and me but there are out there, people who are suffering mentally, physically, hardship, emotionally, financially and so on and so forth, and they are real. We choose to ignore them or we just don't want to know that they exist. 

So do think about it alright, even as you go on to become professionals and dental surgeons and all. That you can reach out to these people who are in need. Whatever you do can make a large difference to them. I'm now at the receiving end so I know how it feels, someone who genuinely care for you, encourage and all. It makes a lot of difference to me. That’s what happens after treatment. I had a treatment recently, but I’ll leave this for another day. A lot of things happened along the way, that's why I am still able to talk to you today. 

I'll just end of with this quote here, it's from this book called Tuesdays with Morris, and some of you may have read it. Everyone knows that they are going to die; every one of us knows that. The truth is, none of us believe it because if we did, we will do things differently. When I faced death, when I had to, I stripped myself off all stuff totally and I focused only on what is essential. The irony is that a lot of times, only when we learn how to die then we learn how to live. I know it sounds very morbid for this morning but it's the truth, this is what I’m going through. 

Don’t let society tell you how to live. Don’t let the media tell you what you're supposed to do. Those things happened to me. And I led this life thinking that these are going to bring me happiness. I hope that you will think about it and decide for yourself how you want to live your own life. Not according to what other people tell you to do, and you have to decide whether you want to serve yourself, whether you are going to make a difference in somebody else's life. Because true happiness doesn't come from serving yourself. I thought it was but it didn't turn out that way. With that I thank you, if you have any questions you have for me, please feel free. Thank you.

بال جبریل

یوں ہاتھ نہیں آتا وہ گوہر یک دانہ

یک رنگی و آزادی اے ہمت مردانہ

یا سنجر و طغرل کا آئین جہاں گیری

یا مرد قلندر کے انداز ملوکانہ

یا حیرت فارابی یا تاب و تب رومی

یا فکر حکیمانہ یا جذب کلیمانہ

یا عقل کی روباہی یا عشق ید اللہی

یا حیلہ افرنگی یا حملہ ترکانہ

یا شرع مسلمانی یا دیر کی دربانی

یا نعرہ مستانہ ، کعبہ ہو کہ بت خانہ

میری میں فقیری میں ، شاہی میں غلامی میں

کچھ کام نہیں بنتا بے جرأت رندانہ

We Count Our Miseries Carefully And Accept Our Blessings Without Much Thought.

"Usi par bandh ke bethen hen sari umeeden, wo zindagi jo kisi se wafa nahi karti"

I often find such statements spoken by some of those people who are enjoying the bestest blessings of life..financially bestest, relationship wise bestest, academically bestest etc etc..If they are so much fedup of this world that they put these dialogues (stated above) as their facebook statuses, why cant they simply let these blessings go or why cant they simply donate these blessings to someone who is really fond of this world or who really is interested in all these blessings.."wo zindagi jo kisi se wafa nahin karti"??? then why are they so obsessed with life and blessings of life? one might answer that they have been given this from God..yes true but if they dont care of life and they are more worried for their life hereafter then why are they so much content..is it because they are fully prepared for their life hereafter??or the reason is that they themselves actually are obsessed with this materialistic world?? DOUBLE STANDARDS, DUAL PERSONALITIES!!I am not saying that they should reject all the blessins of life if they care for their life hereafter more..This would be ungratefulness..but some blessings of life can be distributed amongst the humans and other creations of God..Unfortunately there are only some people who would do this..the others would proof at that time to have a small heart.. I remember a line here from the drama "Man o Salwa" directed by Babar Javed, written by Umera Ahmed and telecasted on HUM TV few years back..the writer states:

"Ye bhe chahye or wo bhe?? zindagi men ya to ye hota hai ya wo..ye bhe or wo bhe nahin milta"

Shehr e Zaat

I really wanted to write an extraordinarily good review for this drama..my blog readers must be knowing till now what a huge Pakistani drama fan I am and this is drama is an exceedingly good piece of work by Umera Ahmed..unfortunately I donot have a right to write a review for this drama..its because I feel I have so much within my personality which resembles Falaq's personality and while writing a review I feel ashamed of myself..neither would I quote here some exceptionally touching lines from the serial as people can watch it themselves..the whole serial however can be summarised in one quote of Imam Ali A.S which is:

A Holy Day Victimized By Our Greeds

Eid, has been everything except being itself in our country. It means everything  except the true eid day..its a Islamic day when we Muslims celebrate happiness because no sin is performed by us that day...this is the true meaning of eid by Islamic dictionary..maybe we should change this day's name atleast for our dear country as we  celebrate it in a totally opposite manner..this day is more about wearing A-one designer's dresses with precious jewellery if you are talking about Ramazan eid and more about delicious meaty feasts if you are talking about Bakra eid..its more about kheer, kalejees, tikka, boti, bihari etc etc..its more about comparing your animal of sacrifice with your relative's animal..unfortunately this is the meaning of eid in our society..and we celebrate it with so much delight because our media has so many cheap programs which they can show us..they have a collection of cheap Indian movies for us on eid day which are not at all according to our Islamic culture..they have a collection of concerts which we can hear and spoil our 'qurbani' and all the 'prayers and good deeds performed by us throughout Ramazan'..and its unfortunate that we still have guts to wish each other 'eid mubarak' with so much pleasure!!

No kidding!!

 "My real self wanders elsewhere, far away, wanders on and on invisibly  and has nothing to do with my life"

(Hermann Hesse)

کسی زمانے میں ایک ملک تھا جس کا بادشاہ بے اولاد ہی مر گیا۔کوئی قریبی رشتہ دار بھی ایسا نہیں تھا کہ جسےتخت و تاج سونپا جا سکتا۔ تو امیروں میں بحث شروع ہو گئی کہ بادشاہ کون بنے گا۔ہوتے ہوتے یہ طے پایا کہ کل صبح جو شخص سب سے پہلے شہر کے دروازے سے داخل ہو گا اسے بادشاہ بنا دیا جائے گا۔اگلی صبح کا سورج طلوع ہوا تو سب کی نگاہیں داخلیدروازے پر ٹکی تھیں۔ اچانک ایک ہیولا سا دروازےمیں سے اندر داخل ہوا۔ہر جانب مبارک سلامت کا شور اٹھا ملک و قوم کو اگلا بادشاہ مل ہی گیا تھا اور دروازے سے داخل ہونے والا ایک گدڑی پوش فقیر حیرت سے سب امرا کے چہرے دیکھ رہا تھا جو اس کا ہاتھ چومنے میں ایک دوسرے پر سبقت لے جا رہے تھے۔
خیر قصہ مختصر۔ بادشاہ سلامت دربار میں جلوہ افروز ہوئے ایک وزیر نے اگے پڑھ کر عوام کے دگرگوں حالات کا رونا رونا شروع کیا اور رقت آمیز لہجے میں شاہی ٹیکس کم کرنے کی درخواست کی۔ بادشاہ سلامت نے پوری توجہ سے بات سنی اور سن کر مراقبے میں چلے گئے۔ کچھ دیر بعد سر اٹھایااور حکم جاری کیا۔
"حلوہ پکاؤ۔"
شاہی فرمان تھا۔ سرتابی کی مجال کسے تھی۔ داروغہ مطبخ دوڑا گیا اور شاندار حلوہ تیار کروا کے لے آیا۔ بادشاہ سلامت نے نہائت اطمینان سے حلوے کی رکابی صاف کی اور اگلی فریاد پیش کرنے کا کہا۔ فریاد سنی لیکن شاید کچھ فیصلہ کرنے کو ابھی مزید حلوہ درکار تھا اس لیےپھر ایک بار وہی فرمان جاری ہوا۔
"حلوہ پکاؤ۔"
الغرض فریاد پہ فریاد پیش ہوتی رہی اور بادشاہ سلامت حلوے کی رکابی پہ رکابی صاف کرتے رہے۔ اچانک قلعہ دار دوڑا آیا اور پھولی ہوئی سانس میں بولا کہ بادشاہ کے مرنے کی خبر سن کر پڑوسی حکمران نے یلغار کر دی ہے اور اس کی فوج فصیل کے باہر پہنچ چکی ہے۔ بادشاہ سلامت کا کیا حکم ہے؟
بادشاہ سلامت نے غیض و غضب کے عالم میں حکم جاریکیا۔
"حلوہ پکاؤ۔"
حلوہ کھا ہی رہے تھے کہ قلعہ دار پھر دوڑا دوڑا آیا اور بولا کہ حضور والیٰ دشمن کی فوج فصیل توڑ کر اندر داخل ہو چکی ہے۔
بادشاہ سلامت کا چہرہ غصے سے سرخ ہوا۔
"ان کی یہ مجال ۔ ۔ ۔ اور حلوہ پکاؤ۔"
مزید حلوہ پیش کیا گیا۔ کچھ دیر کے بعد قلعہ دار پھر سے نمودار ہوا اور بولا حضور کچھ کیجیے۔ دشمن کی فوج محل کے باہر پہنچ چکی ہے۔
اس بار بادشاہ سلامت کچھ فکر مند ہوئے اور بولے۔
"اچھا۔"
پھر کچھ سوچ کر اٹھے اور بولے۔
"اچھا بھئی بھائیو۔ فقیر نے تو حلوہ کھانا تھا وہ خوب سیر ہو کر کھا لیا۔ اب دشمن آ گیا ہے۔ تم جانو اور تمہارا ملک جانے۔ بابا تو یہ چلا۔"
اتنا کہہ کر بادشاہ سلامت نے اپنی گدڑی پہنی کشکول ہاتھ میں تھاما اور حق اللہ کی صدا بلند کر کے چل دئیے۔
 ( ہمارے موجودہ حالات کے عین مطابق) 

Last Three Wishes Of Alexander

Just before he died, Alexander convened his generals and told them his last three wishes:

1 - That his coffin SHOULD BE carried on the shoulders and transported by the best doctors of the time.

2 - That the treasures he had conquered (silver, gold, precious stones), should be scattered on the path to the grave site, and ...

3 - That his hands should be dangling in the air, outside of the coffin, and in view of all.

One of his generals, astonished by these quite unusual desires, asked Alexander about his reasons.

Alexander explained to him:*

1 - I want the most eminent doctors from the land to load my coffin to show

that they did not have the power to heal in the face of death.

2 - I want the ground to be covered by my treasures for all to see that material goods conquered here, cannot be taken, so, also remain here.

3 - I want my hands to be swaying in the wind, so that people can see that just as we came here with empty hands, we leave too with empty hands, when we are ending the most

valuable treasure, which is our time.

Golden Words Of Imam Ali A.S

1. The most ignorant is the one who trips over the same stone twice.

2. You can never realize what guidance is uless you understand the case of a person gone astray or the one who is lost due to ignorance.

3. I you desire what is honorable, avoid what is forbidden.

4.Beware! Sight of thousands of living beings may not deceive you. They are all bound to go, one following the other.

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.

The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was

Full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full..

The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed..

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car..

The sand is everything else---the small stuff.

'If you put

The sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children.

Spend time with your parents.

Visit with grandparents.

Take your spouse out to dinner.

Play another 18.

There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.

Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.

Set your priorities.

The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented.

The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'

The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend

The Girl In The Elevator: Dr Sana Usman

I didn’t actually talk to her during my five years of med school. Only saw her occasionally, and noticed her even more infrequently; but those who did, lost her this morning of 9th October 2012. Her death was not due to natural causes. Her death was also not an accident. Her death was no less than a killing. It was a testimonial to our government’s efficiency. And her killers were no other than the administrative and maintenance departments of Jinnah Postgraduate Medical Center (JPMC).

Her name was Dr. Sana Usman and she was my batch mate in Sindh Medical College. We had only just graduated in March and it has been 5 months since we have started our House Job in JPMC; one of the largest federal government hospital in Pakistan.  

For more than one week she was on ventilatory and cardiac support in the Surgical ICU of JPMC. Her only mistake was that she used the elevators in the Nephrology department. Elevators that had gaping holes in its doors, where there should have been glass. It was in those gaps in which her dopatta got stuck and as the elevator moved, it strangulated her. In her effort to free herself her arm was twisted behind her back and inside the open window of the door. After considerable delay she was “rescued” from the elevator and brought to JPMC’s emergency department on a stretcher that was pushed on the road as fast as it could go.

 She was declared dead in ER before she was resuscitated and her heart restarted. It took more than 15minutes of CPR, enough for her brain to be permanently damaged because of lack of oxygen. From there, she was shifted to the Surgical ICU. But all of this was to no avail. It only brought 9 days of false hope to Sana’s family and to us.

Her death has been a shocking eye opener for me at least. What kind of a working environment are we doctors in?  Where there is no guarantee of our lives, where I doubt whether we’ll all even come out alive of this mandatory one year training or not? Where there is occasional exchange of gun fire and bomb threats (read explosions) in its premises including the ER, where the looters on lose can anytime snatch you of your valuables or better yet sneak into sleeping female doctors on call room and steal from their bedside and where perverts strut around with their pants down assaulting doctors sexually...

We doctors have been working here for 5 months WITHOUT a single months’ salary being paid. That’s what the late Dr. Sana Usman said to her sister a day before the fatal accident that she was a financial burden on her parents even though she was a working woman.

I beg to you, to the President of Pakistan and to the Director of JPMC don’t let more of us die in vain. Let her death be a catalyst for change, a change for the better and for the good.

By: Dr. Misha Tanveer (House Officer, JPMC)

Just A Thought

Sad but I possess almost half of the qualities of the unsuccessful people column. Someone rightly said "Man is a social animal"..yes animals we are!! ready to kill each other, blame each other, let down eachother inorder to reach the stars of glory and success..I miss those times when I used to be the owner of the qualities of the left hand column..the successful people!!not much time has passed..just 4 years have converted me to an unsuccessful creature!! aniimal...yes thats a more appropriate word not just for me but for many people out there..it was just 4 or 5 years back that i did nothing, did not struggle at all but achieved all my dreams..some magic used to work for me and used to help me...magic of sense of gratitude, forgiving each other..it was unfortunate that this magic was broken by the curse of  sense of entitlement, criticism,anger. I was probably not able to absorb the shock as I saw people changing faces, changing personalities after every 24 hours to get their benefits. Unfortunately I was not determined to save my magical qualities and the curse turned me into an animal...one more ANIMAL added to this world of animals and one HUMAN subtracted!

Durre Shehwaar

This is not the first time I am writing a review for a Pakistani drama on my blog. I am a big fan of Pakistani dramas since always and specially after the launch of HUM TV which is now the leading drama channel of Pakistan with its great producers like Momina Duraid and some talented directors like Babar Javed. HUM TV has been adopting stories from the novels of a very talented  and versatile writer Umera Ahmed. One such story is Durre Shehwaar which recently ended. An absorbing play which got famous primarily because of the dialogues and also due to the atural acting from Sanam Baloch, the rising Sun amongst the female Pakistani drama actresses; who played the main role of Durre Shehwaar in this drama. I dont wont to write a summary of the serial here as it might spoil the fun and joy of watching the drama for those who still havent seen it; although am sure most of the people must have seen the serial already and as usual am a bit late in writing the review. Its basically a story of a girl who is raised up in a small family which consists of loving parents and two daughters who are raised by their parents like rincesses but the elder daughter is married in a small home crowded with 4 siblings and a bad tempered mother in law who expects too much from Shehwaar and is never happy with the efforts of her daughter in law and never bothers to appreciate her. Its not just her mother in law..Shehwaar has to change herself entirely to make her husband happy who says he wont be happy with Shehwaar unless she makes his mother and sisters happy. In all the chaos, Shehwaar's father's letters to her are a source of hope and life for her. He advices her through his letters which are full of hope and care. two such letters am putting here:

Abba,
Is school mai aur is imtihaan mai main kabhi position nahi lay sakti is liye mere result card mai kabhi distinction nahi hosakti shayad grace marks say pass hojaun laiken ziada imkaan hai main fail hojaoon.Kabhi kabhar apna aap mujhay bilkul sifar lagta hai zero jis ki koi value nahi hoti useless.Aap ki beti is ghar mai sifar jesi zindagi guzar rahi hai sirf aik sifar aur aap kehtay hain k u

meed rakkho cheezain badlain gi.Roaz subha say lekar raat tak Umeed ko khojti rehti hun laiken Abba umeed tu kahin nazar nahi aati.

Meri Piyari Beti Durre Shehwar,
Umeed ko dhoonda nahi jata umeed ko rakha jata hai apnay andar apnay dil mai apnay zehan mai yeh nannhay beej ki tarah hoti hai chand dinon mai beej zameen ki matti say bahar tu ajata hai laiken ussay darakht ban’nay mai bohat dair lagti hai laiken wo darakht banta zaroor hai agar us ko pani diya jata rahay agar matti ko narm rakkha jaye.Sifar ki zaroorat her adad ko parti hai kuch ban’nay k liye sifar jis adad k saath lagay us ki qadar-o-qeemat kayi guna barha deta hai tu agar apnay aap ko sidar samajhti ho tab bhi tum qeemti ho tab bhi tum bekaar nahi tab bhi tum her ginti say pehlay aao gi her ginti ka aghaaz tum hi say hoga aur her 9 adad k baad aik daffa tumhari zaroorat paray gi.Aglay moar per janay k liye tabdeeli jab bhi aye gi tum say aye gi.Sifar say aye gi.

and...when her mother in law refuses to buy her some important eatables and medicines necessary in pregnancy, Shehwaar does not complain but is spell bound to see a box full of eatables and snacks which her parents send to her from the other city where they live.

Durreshehwaar: “maa baap ko kaisy pata chal jata hai k unki aulad ko kis chez ki zarorat hai,wo kis chez k lye hath phela rahy hai”

Shehr e Zaat OST Full Song Yaar Ko Humne

Witness Karachi Rain

You know you are in Karachi when you get stuck in one such complicated traffic jams as soon as it starts raining ;) You know you are in Karachi when its a typical sunny day and then just two seconds later, the grey black clouds of rain cover the whole city presenting a scene of dusk when its still 12:00 in noon. You know you are in Karachi when Sun says goodbye to the people all of a sudden without a warning and the rainy clouds conquer the city with suffocation. You know you are a typical Karachi citizen if you know what this sudden suffocation with darkness at noon time indicates...MONSOON RAIN!! :D
Lets go out now...You know you are in Karachi when you see people dancing on roads while its raining cats and dogs. You know you are standing on a Karachi street or road when you see water coming up till your knees and you are a typical Karachi citizen if you enjoy this situation ;) You know you are in Karachi when you see almost every car on the road which has stopped working due to the increased amount of water due to rain on roads. You know you are in Karachi when you help the other person to push his car inorder to start it in the rain water ;) 

You know you are in Karachi when you do not get frightened of the thundering clouds and lightning

You are a typical Karachiite when you call such a dangerous rainfall as EPIC ;)

Miracles Of Nature

Satanic Leaf Tailed Gecko (Uroplatus phantasticus), one of the many fascinating species found only on the island of Madagascar.

One of my teachers who is now doing post graduation from UK shared this on his facebook. This is the consent form which he had filled for a patient whom he was supposed to treat in his university hospital in UK on 14th August,2012 (that was just yesterday).But check out the date!!OOPPZZ!!he mentioned 1947 instead of 2012..!!Height of patriotism!!So someone has rightly said "It does not matter where you are.The love for your country always stays in yur heart"..The head nurse brought the consent form to him back asking him why he would do such a thing ;) :p Annyways...belated happy independence day Pakistan!Long live Pakistan!

Last Resort (ABC) - First Trailer

Tere Ishq Mein - Man-O-Salwa *HD*

Amazing Nature!

This pretty little molten gold beetle has been doing the rounds of the Internet lately, because not only does it look like nothing else on Earth, but it can also completely change colours. 

This is golden tortoise beetle (Charidotella sexpunctata, previously known as Metriona bicolor), a tiny, metallic North American insect that belongs to the leaf beetle family, Chrysomelidae. Nicknamed ‘goldenbugs’, golden tortoise beetles grow to around 5.0 to 7.0 mm in length and favour foods such as sweet potato and morning glory.

"Disappointed is one who has no God"

Or maybe whose God is angry with him/her..like me..

Freed from a suspended a fraction of second earlier, water maintains a balloon like shape for a second more..long enough for Serge Raymond to capture the moment in a picture featured in National Geographic's Daily Dozen in June.
After three days, in his basement, he hit on a winning formula: black backdrop, fast shutter speed, six spotlights, and a needle on his model thumb.

Dividing cancer cells. Colored scanning electron micrograph (SEM) of adenocarcinoma cells undergoing cytokinesis (cell division). Cytokinesis occurs after nuclear division (mitosis) which produces two daughter nuclei. The cells are still attached by cytoplasmic bridge (thin thread). Adenocarcinomas are cancers that arise from the glandular tissue lining an organ.

Powerful Inspirational true story...Don't give up!

Martin Luther King says ,"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear"

I say the opposite!!

A Picture Tells A Thousand Words

Creativity... This picture reflects so many things at the same time..If you are creative you will find what it shows..

Coldplay - Paradise (Official)

Its true that I have a telenor sim but I am not putting this video here to publicize telenor. Its just that this advertisement is such a good reflection of a father-child relationship.

Mata e Jaan ost

This is such an awesome drama.. a must watch!

Kahi to hogi woh

This song is awesome..Moreover I have a special memory associated with this song..cant stop sharing it here..

Think

This is one more example of  "from rags to riches" due to education and knowledge..Strange how can we still ignore the fact that knowledge is power and education can change your life..

The 'Most Wanted' Key

I was so excited and happy. Finally after a long tiring journey, I was getting all that I had always wanted. I was just on the edge of it. The door was just a step ahead. I had travelled all the way from the very bottom till that door which was high above. I just had to insert the key into the keyhole, unlock the door and open it and then I would find all that I had desired; happiness, success and what not. But did I had the key for the door? No I did not had it. It was in the hands of God. I had to put all my effort to reach till that door and then God had to give me the key to open it and then I just had to open it and get everything and then thank God. I had made all the plans for thanking God as I was climbing up the stairs to the door. I knew God was merciful enough to give me the key after all the hardwork of mine and then I would thank God in the best possible way as I had planned. So I was outside the door, with my head up with pride and I asked God,"God give me the key,this is the very perfect door. There is no unlawful thing inside it. Its pure and it won't lead me to wrong path of sins.". God said,"Sorry Sumaiya, I can't give you the key". I was like "WHAT!! but it is the perfect place like I said there is nothing inside which will make you unhappy and ofcourse it will make me happy too. It contains all which I wanted all my life.Why can't you give me the key?!". God replied,"I am sorry Sumaiya, I can't give you the key". "But why?!", I asked and He replied, "Because what is contained inside the door is not good for you". So I got angry and worried and sad and what not!! Why did He let me travel all the way to the door then? Couldn't he just stop me in the midway? I had all the hopes and I expected so much from Him but He simply said that all the happiness inside the door wasn't good for me? I could not believe Him. It was simply perfect. Everything inside the door was so perfect for me. How could He say then that it was not good for me. I hit the door hard. Maybe that way it would open. But it did not open. I sat outside the door, depressed, started crying and pleaded to God to open it. But He just kept on saying, "its not good for you. I will tell you another door where you will find good for yourself". I told him that I wanted the same door as I had made up all my mind for it throughout the long journey and that I wanted it at any cost whether it was good for me or not. He said,"all that glitters is not Gold. This one is not good for you". I told Him,"I dont care whether its good or not. I want this glitter". He kept on smiling quietly maybe on my failure or maybe on my senseless desires or maybe because I really did not know that the happiness inside the door wasnt good for me. He told me,"I will tell you the way for another door and inside it you will find happiness which will be good for you". I asked him," I had convinced my heart for this happiness. How will I accept the other happiness which you talk about?". He said,"You will like that so much that you will forget about this one". And now I donot understand how can something be better than this one? This one is simply perfect. Nothing could be better than this one. And now I am sitting outside the door and hoping that maybe after a while God will give me the key for it. Why can't He simply make that thing better for me which I want? That way He can be happy and I can be happy and everything will be fine. Why does He has to put this depression thing in my way everytime I am about to have something which I want? Its true that whatever he wishes, he does that. Then why did He not make heartless people or maybe non living statues instead of human beings? or maybe any creatures without any feelings, who would accept all his decisions straight away easily..like Helen Keller said that blindness is more painful when you had sight prreviously..thats what happened with me this time. I got 90% of happiness and God snatched it back and did not let me move ahead, saying that it was not better for me!

A 60 Seconds Read

A blind man was begging on a side of a New York street with a board written:

"I AM BLIND HELP ME"

Once a man passing that side saw him. The man took the blind man's board and wrote something. After that the blind man got heavy collection. Many people started to give him money. Here is what that stranger wrote on the blind man's board:

"YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL BUT I CANNOT SEE YOU"

This is called the power of expression. Its not just enough to think good. If you are not able to express that good thought of your's in a proper way, people will never know what ideas you have and what a genius mind is present inside your head. This blind man's story was actually sent to me by by friend through sms. It really touched me because I also have a poor power of expression.

If anyone can tell me how to improve it, I shall be thankful.

A Sad Note

All my hopes went down when I saw this person from whom I wanted importance for myself, giving importance to other people just because these other people were either somebody awesome from academic point of view or from financial point of view.
Dont want to write much about it because all my hopes are down right now. People who have experienced this feeling will understand it for sure without a long comprehensive writing of mine on this topic. Thank God I have a blog where I can put my feelings because all of it cannot simply fit in a one-line facebook status!

Wonders Of Science

First I would like to apologize to my blogger friends..I cannot comment on few blogs.the explorer gives an error when i try to comment.maybe i should start using google chrome instead of explorer..ithink that will make some difference.but i am reading blogs of all the people who are following me and i must say that everyone is writing really well.
Anyways here are two articles written by Professor Atta ur Rehman.They were published in Dawn (education) on 1st April, 2012.Really interesting stuff.

The Royal Road To A person's Heart Is To Talk About Things He Treasures The Most

The other day I was informed about a seminar which was to be conducted at Jinnah Postgraduate Medical Centre. My friend gave me the number of the seminar co ordinator so that I could get myself registered for the seminar. I called Dr Sehrish Haider for the purpose of registration. I did not know this person at all. I just had to call her for my registration. So I called her but she did not recieve my call..Anyways I went back to my work..Half an hour later I recieved a call from Dr Sehrish who said ,"Did someone call me from this number a while ago?".I told her that it was me and I wanted to know the registration process for the seminar..She explained me the whole procedure. It was a bit later after the phone call that I had this feeling. This person, Dr Sehrish did not know me at all and neither did I know her. Yet she called back at my place from the number I called her before when she was not able to reply. I was impressed by her sense of responsibility and realized maybe this was the quality for which she was made the seminar co coordinator. Not just this..her call back to my place (when she did not know me at all) made me feel important and so I developed a positive feeling for her..The deepest urge inside a human nature is to be important for others and the co coordinator made me feel that I was important for her..i was impressed and this short and maybe unimportant event reminded me of what Dale Carnegie had said in one of his books which i had read few days back..according to him if you make the other person feel as if he is very important for you, that other person will do whatever favour you want even without you asking him for a favour.Through examples of different people, the author explains how taking interest in the interests of other people and giving priority to their priorities can make them happy and satisfied and can create a positive impression of you in front of them.Here is the exact piece of writing from the book:

The genial William Lyon Phelps, essayist and professor of literature at  Yale learned this lesson early in his life.He says:

"When I was eight years old and was spending a weekend visiting my aunt Libby Linsley at her home in Stratford, a middle aged man called one evening and after a polite skirmish with my aunt, he devoted his attention to me. At that time, I happened to be excited about boats and the visitor discussed the subject in a way that seemed particularly interesting. After he left, I spoke of him with enthusiasm. What a man! My aunt informed me that he was a New York lawyer and that he cared nothing about boats, that he took not the slightest interest in the subject. I wondered why did he talk to me about boats so much?

"Because he is a gentleman", said my aunt. "He saw that you were interested in boats and he talked about the things he knew would interest you and please you. He made himself agreeable"

And William Lyon added: "I never forgot my aunt's remark"