tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84099625388558269302024-03-04T21:02:31.452-08:00Reflection Of My Soul....Put Your Ear Down Close To Your Soul And Listen Hard....Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.comBlogger140125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-51968510532495476842022-11-03T11:31:00.000-07:002022-11-03T11:31:13.609-07:003 November, 2022<p>Hello. Its been long. I am once again relying on my blog to share my feelings; this time to feel lighter, rather than clarifying the emotional confusion, which I ised to do in past using my blog,and which was the purpose of this blog.</p><p>As I grew up over the past few years, experienced various ups and downs of real life, I had a chance to think about the internal confusions, which I used to have. The thought process pathway was not easy, it was itself full of self doubts and confusions; and its worth writing too but I will probably do that using a separate post since that troubling journey is too long and complicated, however, fruitful.</p><p>I used to have this uncomfortable feeling of unhappiness since years. Its actually experiencing an empty soul, not sad, not anxious, not even angry. Just empty, hopeless. It was 2 years back when I realised its depression. Over the past 2 years, I have been looking for the reason of this depression, because apparently, my life is perfect. I am a successful and shining professional according to many people, I have luxuries of life which many people crave for, I have a loving family. Yet, I fail to fight this empty feeling which has been persistently numbing me since years. And I realised that it was my introvert nature that was a hinderance for me making friends, talking to people, letting out my feelings frequently. I strangulated my soul by imprisoning my feelings. When I was in school, I had classmates, when I got promoted to higher institutes, I had colleagues, college batchmates. I was in delusion that I had friends and thats why never felt this emptiness as intensely as I do now. Because actually, they were not friends, just those studying with me. </p><p>So now what? Make friends? Yes its good making friends but eventually, everyone has their own life and engagements and cannot just sit and talk to you so you get lighter. We do have such gems in today's world but very rare. We need to learn that in the end its you who will be with you. You are the one who will give you a shoulder to cry, you are the one who will accurately and completely understand you, your needs, your happiness, your sadness, all your emotions, and then accept you without judging. Atleast I have learnt this through my journey of depression. Someday I will write about that. Till then, keep moving ahead, dream, hope, live. Life is precious.</p>Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-16753971599186365032020-09-13T15:04:00.002-07:002020-09-13T15:04:49.836-07:00The War Within<p>I realised that I mostly update my blog whenever I face internal struggles. Yes, the same internal struggles which have been bothering me since I started understanding life.</p><p>"Alif", a famous blockbuster drama serial aired on Geo TV, Pakistan from October, 2019 till March, 2020 gained popularity among the public due to its unique script and plot. Romance and spirituality (two prime themes of the serial) apart; when one watches this serial repeatedly, the deeper themes can be grasped. Internal struggle is one such element very well portrayed in the serial.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifwu8wPfpOjgtuR-lXuzJ0N7Vc5n93ycRQ36GvLJytVWlinwLq_qkw8pi3w-IeGVMkVg1PTlFbZBKDLVqmUF1FWQfyqAQyJeEcCdRoks9FV0oAYYXNKvOikcnISpvzcYUoq3XUq9gkm8o/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="213" data-original-width="378" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifwu8wPfpOjgtuR-lXuzJ0N7Vc5n93ycRQ36GvLJytVWlinwLq_qkw8pi3w-IeGVMkVg1PTlFbZBKDLVqmUF1FWQfyqAQyJeEcCdRoks9FV0oAYYXNKvOikcnISpvzcYUoq3XUq9gkm8o/w400-h225/image.png" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Background soundtracks of this serial are one component which always attracts me and I always wondered why. Today, while watching the serial for the nth number of time, I realised that probably the background music in most of the scenes signal towards the emotional battles within a person and thats the reason why it appeals me. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I feel internal struggle is something very difficult to overcome in life specially if one is an over sensitive person or someone dominated primarily by emotions. Such struggles can be persuit of spirituality; striving to stay on the right path; battle against emotional trauma and pain; and overcoming the pain of losing the desired things, bonds or people in life.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">These are just few internal struggles. Every person may have different internal struggles. Someone may contradict with my statement that these internal struggles are difficult for emotional people. I say this because I feel that the mind and heart are at constant battle throughout the life in terms of decisions and struggles. For people dominated by mind, decision making is easier and therefore the emotional pain and suffering can easily be receded. However, for the emotionally driven people, this war within is tough and never-ending.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9ZAHDAiWccAfxVJf4gpsa9DzARfsRwO5TNL8jshZTDyRF7T-nOmcPH7Fx_3A8gQToDpbh9QIt96ukM4LcODfux13e65uOlMl-r70v9s5Fqahi0rsz0CtvqM0-cUthDYg7-My6KBHkC4E/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="592" data-original-width="631" height="375" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9ZAHDAiWccAfxVJf4gpsa9DzARfsRwO5TNL8jshZTDyRF7T-nOmcPH7Fx_3A8gQToDpbh9QIt96ukM4LcODfux13e65uOlMl-r70v9s5Fqahi0rsz0CtvqM0-cUthDYg7-My6KBHkC4E/w400-h375/image.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><br /><p></p>Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-81251722677596258002020-01-19T09:32:00.000-08:002020-01-19T09:33:31.565-08:00AmbivalenceSo I finally managed to wakeup the blogger inside me after years of "happening yet monotonous" life. Well yes "happening yet monotonous"..thats because the significant events that occurred in my life since I last penned down my feelings were not significant enough to be recorded on my blog..so why do I call them significant? Because including both achievements n failures, they changed my life and a bit of my personality..yet not significant enough to be mentioned on my blog because they had comparatively less involvement of my emotional side..achievements, new bonds, losing friends n mentors n so much more happened but again no event was significant enough to force me to pick up my pen or increase my heart beat..<br />
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So when you long for something for almost 10 years and it doesn’t turnup to be yours, you get the feeling its not made for you or good for you and you distance yourself from it, distract yourself..sometimes you turn back and get a glimpse of it and your heavy heart and frustrated mind reminds you of the cruel fact that its not yours and you distract yourself again..you move even farther away but then someone pushes you and you get back a bit nearer to from where you have been trying to run away..you get a glimpse of the treasure of your heart again but someone has hold of it already by now n you distract yourself this time by racing away fast..10 years and somehow your treasure turns up to you..by this time you are already "used to" of getting the feeling of lust, greed, affection, joy when you get glimpse of it..like the attraction of some chemical bond..some unknown bond without name.. and this feeling of getting “used to” drives you away from it again but this time something happens which overwhelms you with a "mixture of feelings"..the treasure drops in front of you, rolling near you as if its your belonging, your lost treasure..but you know its not your belonging n its just your affection..u so want to pick it up, make it your crown, decorate it in your treasure box and probably open your ribcage and replace your heart with it but you know it might not fit in your ribcage as its certainly someone else’s..the physical features of the treasure appear so promising that it would fit in wherever you place it but the sharp annoying feeling inside you tells you to leave it as someone has a virtual hold of it already..and once more you have to drop it back with a heavy heart and walk with head lowered on your monotonous road of life..with a question that in so many years how the bond still survived and how it even developed?..<br />
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Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-46557497250368979902019-06-05T10:31:00.003-07:002019-06-05T10:31:34.870-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ5AWmfvzNd-OEnqVgz8FzwMV-o1utn0XkSCVFOfmqTaIadG2WNPe1zOtWC4VWnqx8TMUB1n_pSs3PiHrXoHsiv3XQewJBVgvDPAv3kiDRT1JNOrPyZzyxgmO4LBYfY-toO-hw6HSraNg/s1600/Presentation1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="797" data-original-width="864" height="585" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ5AWmfvzNd-OEnqVgz8FzwMV-o1utn0XkSCVFOfmqTaIadG2WNPe1zOtWC4VWnqx8TMUB1n_pSs3PiHrXoHsiv3XQewJBVgvDPAv3kiDRT1JNOrPyZzyxgmO4LBYfY-toO-hw6HSraNg/s640/Presentation1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-54351349162152144352019-05-27T06:39:00.000-07:002019-05-27T06:39:01.793-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhynmr3z5LuzpUhgsKdm_hACanmLZVUhU0gmkrdqW7lqx6Mlte-lTpwqjBd5bX8v5dD9iN3nWd2ekxd7OHUeUsKuuwXbLLLu92aXUkVLvm8Hn-eOpVwGarivgaL09uw-n57oMJpnhFrM7s/s1600/21+ramzan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1008" height="457" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhynmr3z5LuzpUhgsKdm_hACanmLZVUhU0gmkrdqW7lqx6Mlte-lTpwqjBd5bX8v5dD9iN3nWd2ekxd7OHUeUsKuuwXbLLLu92aXUkVLvm8Hn-eOpVwGarivgaL09uw-n57oMJpnhFrM7s/s640/21+ramzan.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-75966051369024761602019-05-11T13:45:00.002-07:002019-05-11T13:46:02.718-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9m_iZyaquBAhq96uXdXn-e6f32OfXMgvzWTGicRygMU2e4IUesH3H5FCHjRcoV-G2VCpxYKMvUHXKuFlHXtxYKd44QqS9EVjqAyu4tKsCvzvdvFYnvIH7jwoe99WQcpy1VF71OIlMNZU/s1600/Presentation1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="721" data-original-width="787" height="365" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9m_iZyaquBAhq96uXdXn-e6f32OfXMgvzWTGicRygMU2e4IUesH3H5FCHjRcoV-G2VCpxYKMvUHXKuFlHXtxYKd44QqS9EVjqAyu4tKsCvzvdvFYnvIH7jwoe99WQcpy1VF71OIlMNZU/s400/Presentation1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-90121590898686923202019-02-09T12:38:00.003-08:002019-02-09T12:40:38.512-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbytrKtfTof-IG8gfXTiOYVYsGWUNHwM_fJAW8m1eX8Eb60aehyphenhyphenTNj0yToTDigRYMv5vJ41zruHd_34p2_2hA3Srhnm4D374SLJMz2dUL9tAxcrg41R2eei7hAR8pdHnl7P1Gvctm6JTo/s1600/blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbytrKtfTof-IG8gfXTiOYVYsGWUNHwM_fJAW8m1eX8Eb60aehyphenhyphenTNj0yToTDigRYMv5vJ41zruHd_34p2_2hA3Srhnm4D374SLJMz2dUL9tAxcrg41R2eei7hAR8pdHnl7P1Gvctm6JTo/s400/blog.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b>Alhamdulillah for the little joys.</b><br />
<b>Scrambled eggs in butter, toasted bread, peanut butter, oats bread.</b>Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-47043298508363005902017-10-22T06:00:00.000-07:002017-10-22T06:00:04.557-07:00Abandoned!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-NWCteGB1PGZSIPewfJONTScTJW-kMqiaPCVlEJODBjII_pBdrzRVIk8TihoeQsyzMZKWRee4drYDlHBtVBR0DGeyrbvyyI1MWFy92ObcSfZxyxflqKeq7D7p9itUMAbFky7ABLbDPWY/s1600/addtext_com_MDg0OTMwMTE0NjI5.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="492" data-original-width="872" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-NWCteGB1PGZSIPewfJONTScTJW-kMqiaPCVlEJODBjII_pBdrzRVIk8TihoeQsyzMZKWRee4drYDlHBtVBR0DGeyrbvyyI1MWFy92ObcSfZxyxflqKeq7D7p9itUMAbFky7ABLbDPWY/s640/addtext_com_MDg0OTMwMTE0NjI5.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-51551564282427415942017-07-07T11:01:00.000-07:002017-07-07T11:01:04.672-07:00<b>So the other day I was attending a session which focused on leadership qualities and we were given an assignment to write a three line mission of our life. At that time, I thought it was an easy task and I would do it anyhow. However, I kept on thinking for a week and finally this came to my mind and I realized that I had been working on my mission of life already since years without realizing. So here is what I wrote:</b><br />
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<b>" I am in this World because God has created me. Over the years, my mission of life has changed from being materialistic to spiritual. I think the most important mission is to understand what God plans for us and sometimes, His plans really amaze me. Therefore, it is important to maintain the bond with God. I have also realized that it is important to well maintain the bonds with humans and specially blood relations. In order to incorporate the above mentioned elements in my life and balance these elements with my own wishes, I try to fulfill my own wants, while maintaining these valuable bonds"</b></div>
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<b>Because nothing is more pure than God's love for you. There were times when He did not fulfill my most desired wishes. I was deeply traumatized. My soul was wounded and I would not stop asking Him why He did it with me. With time, I realized He gave me even more valuable gifts in return. I realized that my wants were not a good choice for me. I would not have survived if He had fulfilled my wish at that time. But He knew. And He knows. Everything! And I know that in future as well I will face such situations again where my wants will clash with what God gives me. But this is the reality. We have to surrender to Him. Sometimes we understand His wisdom, sometimes we fail to understand. But this keeps on going. I know every blow which get in my life will help me get closer to the creator.</b></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Picture by Ali Khursheed.</td></tr>
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Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-47570543402998791612017-01-22T03:55:00.003-08:002017-01-22T03:55:36.315-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivPYMkUciPhuBDPJDoDAbdcQG7kTOjQmWFPAPeoa6yafV0KmdbQi161Ut4S2EcW0nt4nAcaWX2kTsA-lce2K3QiZArWI2nGr21tzlO7zNonJV6D6xOClOQbJMjtI9iMeZt72i6fDqDJGM/s1600/FB_IMG_1485085593431.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="337" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivPYMkUciPhuBDPJDoDAbdcQG7kTOjQmWFPAPeoa6yafV0KmdbQi161Ut4S2EcW0nt4nAcaWX2kTsA-lce2K3QiZArWI2nGr21tzlO7zNonJV6D6xOClOQbJMjtI9iMeZt72i6fDqDJGM/s640/FB_IMG_1485085593431.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-51811537835192470542016-12-04T08:05:00.002-08:002016-12-04T08:05:39.454-08:00<b>When the Sun does not give its light, when the cool breeze stops, when the water get scarce, the roses fade, the gardens are substituted by deserts cactus substitutes rose. No one lives in or likes deserts.</b><br />
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<b>Close enough to human nature which gets harsh when turned down.</b><br />
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Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-63908729518150605942016-09-13T08:37:00.000-07:002016-09-13T08:37:34.167-07:00More Food 😍 Eid ul Azha Day 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX_nR98Dxeaob_fC8y6tGop-GhepcFumvd62V7_qR3UVnmEMRZIkDer-YUtnRwpo-Ft9kX9tVhKcguDUhneXV9kWyBLUMpPDBiV2mZLnvuxh5RzVBf73Zjvej441TOXo2RNKPrG-NzmXE/s1600/20160913_155012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX_nR98Dxeaob_fC8y6tGop-GhepcFumvd62V7_qR3UVnmEMRZIkDer-YUtnRwpo-Ft9kX9tVhKcguDUhneXV9kWyBLUMpPDBiV2mZLnvuxh5RzVBf73Zjvej441TOXo2RNKPrG-NzmXE/s400/20160913_155012.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br />Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-29803756527158064562016-09-11T07:29:00.001-07:002016-09-11T07:29:16.161-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-46615197481133660942016-05-18T09:25:00.001-07:002016-05-18T09:25:41.391-07:00Peace!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-54519584218229096542016-01-30T11:50:00.001-08:002016-01-30T11:50:51.968-08:00This Scene!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-29253964586795160902016-01-17T09:43:00.002-08:002016-01-17T09:43:28.357-08:00<b>Home, that our feet may leave but not our hearts!</b><br />
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Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-41241973558023114312016-01-03T07:10:00.002-08:002016-01-03T07:10:41.953-08:00Nostalgia<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-36268278234383228802015-12-27T06:52:00.001-08:002015-12-27T06:53:20.509-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDB-Cw_yElkFDc7T5ziV-YIuW6chK6NEEXOg3Gxc2SvZr3gKdkDaCySszy2LZBaMurcJop8o54zcpFKiYcRioJM10vUpa2R_Ymcojxrf6vNX_zphi0C85WJy0VrHzJ7cXx5pFCE7BnrGQ/s1600/FB_IMG_1451227782644.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDB-Cw_yElkFDc7T5ziV-YIuW6chK6NEEXOg3Gxc2SvZr3gKdkDaCySszy2LZBaMurcJop8o54zcpFKiYcRioJM10vUpa2R_Ymcojxrf6vNX_zphi0C85WJy0VrHzJ7cXx5pFCE7BnrGQ/s1600/FB_IMG_1451227782644.jpg" /></a></div>
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Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-43172997841325620922015-12-25T08:13:00.000-08:002015-12-25T08:14:40.674-08:00<b>I strongly believe that whatever is destined for you will reach you automatically.. this might exclude the necessity to pray for achieving what you want.. I therefore believe that you dont need to specially mention it to God what you want..he knows it anyways.. Greed, for few specific things, sometimes forces me to force God in my prayers to fulfil my worldly desires.. but then I stop and this second thought strikes my mind that what if I deserve more than what I beg for in front of God.. greed again!</b><br />
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Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-22898407967735957882015-10-27T11:56:00.000-07:002015-10-27T12:04:24.488-07:00<b>Am I a corner of THE TRIANGLE?? I am not sure if I should be happy or honored to have a chance to be one of the corners of the triangles. Had it been a TWO CORNERED SITUATION with me being one of the corners, it would have been easier for my mind and heart! However such conditions are always complicated and I have always strongly believed that these situations are not in our hands..Moreover it can also be an exaggerated creation of my mind! </b>Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-45721675336262439462015-09-24T13:01:00.001-07:002015-09-24T13:01:21.997-07:00When I recall my the days gone by, I remember everytime I had some difficulty (which mostly is profession or academic related), I had say "I cant do it" or "I shall never be able to overcome this difficulty". And now I realize everytime I was wrong. Everytime I had to do something hard, I would say that "I cant do it and I wont ever be able to do it" But I had to do it anyhow as it would be my responsibility and I did that hard job some how by hook or by crook. This situation would repeat with some task of higher level of difficulty. Again I would have the same fear and I would repeat the same negative words in my mind but again in the end I would do it slowly, gradually but correctly. And even now I face the same situation with even more difficult jobs to do. The only difference between now and then is that now I have realized how to tackle such a situation. Now I think that I have to accept the challenge and do it anyways. Doing it would add up to my plus points but not doing it due to my fear, would not only challenge my self confidence but also give others the chance to say that perhaps I am not capable of the job. The difference which this "challenge accepting thought" has caused is I perform the job happily and in a better way which otherwise I would have done forcibly. Now when I face such hard to do tasks, I literally feel that I am about to jump in some hell or fire, but I start it happily because I know that even if I wont perform well, I will learn from my mistake, I will have an experience and above all, the fear of that "difficult-to-perform-job" will be washed away. This is the key "when you fear something, just do it inorder to remove that fear" and this is the only statement which I keep repeating in my mind everayday I go to work and this is the statement which has enabled me to improve my professional skills and get rid of all my fears..<br />
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Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-64359825518692977622015-07-22T10:46:00.000-07:002015-07-22T10:46:07.418-07:00<b>I think even if I get married to the most perfect person of the world (who is perfect according to me..because I have noticed that my definition of 'perfect' is different from the rest of the world), I wont be happy. Because I am so used to my freedom now that I cannot loose it for the sake of relations. And this is what creates so much confusion.So much confusion that I stop thinking about all this and just think of continuing my monotonous life.</b>Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-31270850751953074572015-07-20T05:11:00.000-07:002015-07-20T05:11:23.749-07:00<b>"No one is born hating another person because of the color of their skin. People learn to hate. They can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart"</b><br />
<b>(Nelson Mandela)</b>Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-29611670568962626812014-08-11T13:07:00.000-07:002014-08-11T13:18:47.295-07:00Maa Jaisi Hasti, Dunya Men Hai Kahan..<b>For all the mothers ( dead or alive):<br /><br />Paradise lies at the feet of your mother.</b><br />
<b>(Prophet Muhammad PBUH)</b><br />
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<b>If I were damned of body and soul,</b><br />
<b>I know whose prayers would make me whole,</b><br />
<b>Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine</b><br />
<b>(Rudyard Kipling)</b><br />
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<b>Jab chot kabhi merey lag jati thi,</b><br />
<b>To aankh teri bhe to bhar ati thi,</b><br />
<b>Aik choti si phoonk se teri,</b><br />
<b>Sabhi dard merey hotey they gum.</b><br />
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<b>Teri baaton men apni har aik men,</b><br />
<b>Uljhan ka hall paleta tha,</b><br />
<b>Terey hathon ki roti aksar hi,</b><br />
<b>Bhook se ziada khaleta tha,</b><br />
<b>Tera hissa men, tera kissa men,</b><br />
<b>Jo sabko sunati ho tum</b><br />
<b>(Irshad Kamil)</b><br />
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Sumaiya Hasanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14365791852232898282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8409962538855826930.post-48302911263121088002014-08-03T05:12:00.002-07:002014-08-03T05:16:22.748-07:00Torn Apart<br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 17.940000534057617px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Roads have started to clear, fog on my goal is vanishing day by day, my tears have started to dry, my sight is gradually getting clear, new ways and routes are open, I have keys to unlock various new doors which contain within, precious and valuable opportunities..everything gets simple and easy day by day but my soul is confused and my heart still locked with the attraction of the locked door, the keys of which are owned by God and only He knows why He didnt allow me to unlock it two years back..mind orders to run forward and grab the golden opportunities which will help me to live a fully successful life..yes fully successful but not happy..not happy because my heart still forces me to wait for the locked door to open..the heart gives me an illusion that the locked door will open one day and that I shall have the reward of my patience..in this war of mind and heart my soul is stuck in between</span></b><b style="line-height: 17.940000534057617px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">. This mind - heart war has made my soul confused..it has scared my soul to move in either direction..so now even if the locked door opens; the door which I considered to be source of both happiness and success; my soul would be doubtful about it..this 2 year duration war between my mind and heart has made my soul tired..it just wants to stay where it is..and my soul says it wont take even a step..neither towards the locked door nor towards the open chances..come what may.</span></b></div>
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