I strongly believe that whatever is destined for you will reach you automatically.. this might exclude the necessity to pray for achieving what you want.. I therefore believe that you dont need to specially mention it to God what you want..he knows it anyways.. Greed, for few specific things, sometimes forces me to force God in my prayers to fulfil my worldly desires.. but then I stop and this second thought strikes my mind that what if I deserve more than what I beg for in front of God.. greed again!

Am I a corner of THE TRIANGLE?? I am not sure if I should be happy or honored to have a chance to be one of the corners of the triangles. Had it been a TWO CORNERED SITUATION with me being one of the corners, it would have been easier for my mind and heart! However such conditions are always complicated and I have always strongly believed that these situations are not in our hands..Moreover it can also be an exaggerated creation of my mind! 

When I recall my the days gone by, I remember everytime I had some difficulty (which mostly is profession or academic related), I had say "I cant do it" or "I shall never be able to overcome this difficulty". And now I realize everytime I was wrong. Everytime I had to do something hard, I would say that "I cant do it and I wont ever be able to do it" But I had to do it anyhow as it would be my responsibility and I did that hard job some how by hook or by crook. This situation would repeat with some task of higher level of difficulty. Again I would have the same fear and I would repeat the same negative words in my mind but again in the end I would do it slowly, gradually but correctly. And even now I face the same situation with even more difficult jobs to do. The only difference between now and then is that now I have realized how to tackle such a situation. Now I think that I have to accept the challenge and do it anyways. Doing it would add up to my plus points but not doing it due to my fear, would not only challenge my self confidence but also give others the chance to say that perhaps I am not capable of the job. The difference which this "challenge accepting thought" has caused is I perform the job happily and in a better way which otherwise I would have done forcibly. Now when I face such hard to do tasks, I literally feel that I am about to jump in some hell or fire, but I start it happily because I know that even if I wont perform well, I will learn from my mistake, I will have an experience and above all, the fear of that "difficult-to-perform-job" will be washed away. This is the key "when you fear something, just do it inorder to remove that fear" and this is the only statement which I keep repeating in my mind everayday I go to work and this is the statement which has enabled me to improve my professional skills and get rid of all my fears..

I think even if I get married to the most perfect person of the world (who is perfect according to me..because I have noticed that my definition of 'perfect' is different from the rest of the world), I wont be happy. Because I am so used to my freedom now that I cannot loose it for the sake of relations. And this is what creates so much confusion.So much confusion that I stop thinking about all this and just think of continuing my monotonous life.

"No one is born hating another person because of the color of their skin. People learn to hate. They can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart"
(Nelson Mandela)