For If You Want To Live Your Life, You Gotta Drive The Train (Marv Harding)

I was recalling those years of my life when my weekend used to start on fridays. PTV used to telecast a drama in those days, Zaibunnisa directed by Saira Kazmi. I remember coming home from school and then going to a long sleep which used to end at the time of dusk. After maghrib prayers the entire family would sit together and watch Zaibunnisa and have the dinner. Gone are the peaceful days. Now the weekend comes and goes and you dont even realize the difference between weekend and weekdays. The one day weekend i.e Sunday passes away fast with the uncomfortable feeling of 'work next day'. Life has converted into a race where I run from one station to another, with my luggage. I have a destination in my mind but the route is long and tiring. I stop on every station, gather things from there for my journey which might be useful to make my destination prettier and more comfortable. The things I buy increase the weight of my bag. I tolerate the weight of the increased luggage in my bag on my shoulder with a thought that these things will help me in future and a bit of pain now will give good fruit in future. Well the journey continues. I stop and meet different people on every station. Some people giva a tough time and you want to leave the station and catch another train as soon as possible. Some people are so kind that you want to leave your train for them. But you cannot because they themselves are waiting for their train and as soon as their train arrives they will leave you and you might miss your own destination of you keep on sitting there with them. And some people are even more nice. They trust you so much and like you so much that they leave their all luggage there and then on station and decide to travel with you. They make your destination their own destination just because they love you and like you so much. I am not yet so lucky to have such a companion. But I do meet the second kind of people on every station. I talk to people I meet, ask them about their final destinations. Sometimes I just get amazed to find out that some people aim for such high five destinations. After listening to their journey style, I sometimes mould my own to make it more productive and pleasing. So this way my destination keeps on shifting a bit from the original one. But sometimes others' styles and destinations are really high five but worthy and when you investigate about their style of journey and the final cost till reaching the destination, you come to know its very expensive and you dont have enough money for it. This sometimes make me sad, I cry after talking to these people just because I dont have resources to afford their style of journey. And sometimes while crying I forget to put a check on my train and miss my train. I then have to spend some money to get a new ticket and then scold myself on wasting so many resources just because I was busy crying. But in all this mess I never forget about the things I am fond of, my passions and my aims.  I have missed many trains, fallen a lot of times while running for the train but always have found someone or the other who is kind enough to give me a hand so that I can stand up again. I have even experienced stealing. Yes people stealing things from my luggage with so much innocence. Stealing my ideas and my resources and presenting them with their own name infront of others to impress others and increase their own marks. However I am so much tired from the journey that I dont have energy to argue with them. I leave the decision for God then. So this is how the journey is till now. I am still travelling. There are a lot of passengers who make fun of me when they come to know about my destination which seems to be less possible to achieve. But I think something worth getting is not easy to achieve and you always have to work harder and tolerate a lot of burden on your head and a lot of pressure on your mind while you travel. I hope I achieve my destination sooner so that I can enjoy that position because the true fun of the feeling of joy will be more when you are still not aged .

Trapped!

Sigh!

I Cried For New Shoes Till I Saw A Man With No Feet

Would you like to thank God after looking at this?? 

The sadness builds, the pressure inside,

From cells long locked, the poison resides,

I feel like crying, no place left to hide,

Like the need to vomit but the body cant reply,

The pressure builds from deep inside,

In my throat, my head, from behind my eyes,

Somewhere deep within where the poison resides,

I want to experience the feeling of letting go,

Its what I need but my mind body and soul says no,

Even now my eyes well up wanting to comply,

But thats as far as it goes, I dont know the way,

A drop of my life, my poison spills out,

Like a guard in the prison, my mind seals the route,

It starts to return, deep inside it resides,

I am just too tired, too tired to try,

From darkness deep within, the sadness does win,

But the longing is still there, to release the poison within!

To Err Is Human, To Forgive Is Divine

Today, according to my usual routine I was going through the news feeds of my facebook when I found some really ......... pictures! I dont know what I should call it..maybe stupidity of people? or maybe people who have complex minds or puzzled concepts about Islam..Here you go!

Well I am not a very good Muslim. But is it not a useless talk whether to call God Allah or Allah Tala or Allah Mian? I think it all depends upon your 'Niyyat' which means what really is in your heart for your God.. If you call him 'Allah Tala' and you really think that you are giving Him a lot of respect by using this word for him, but still you are not doing what He has ordered you to do, then whats the use of giving Him respect through this name? Why are people going into so much complications as in looking for literal dictionary meaning for Mian!! There are a variety of languages in this world.. Everyone uses name for God according to their tongue..So this does not mean everyone is going to go to hell or is displeasing God because they called their God through some other name..I am not saying to call Allah as some of your relative but I really think 'Mian' and 'Tala' are both perfectly fine as long as you have His respect in your heart.
Have a look at the second picture (also from facebook).

Yes its true that 'Namaz' is the pillar of Islam and all those who donot fulfill this obligation will be thrown into Hell, no matter how good they are at other religious obligations. But I think its never the condition that God does not want you to stand infront of Him because you are a bad person. Infact He calls each and every person again and again. If some child misbehaves and does not listen to his mother, the mother would never want that child to get out of her sight. She would still wish that her child gets okay with his behaviour and will always accept the child's apology happily. God is equal to 70 mothers. How come He does not want His astray people to come back to Him? I am sure if someone performs some sin and on other day goes and stands on his 'musalla' or 'jaey namaz' for prayers, God would love him for this act but only at one condition that the person is really sorry and feels guilty for what he has done. How could He punish a person by taking the 'wish of prayer' out of that person's heart when He Himself emphasizes so much on prayers?

The above picture is also from facebook. So we see the good names of Allah i.e 'Rahmaan and Raheem' (the forgiving one). If God is so forgiving why do people not understand that these small matters as in by what name you call Him, donot matter. What really matters is what is present in your heart and not on your tongue. If you donot have good feelings about Him in your heart and you call Him with great respect from your tongue then you are a 'Munafiq' (hypocrite). Iam sure God hates the munafiq people.
Its a very wide discussion. I know many people would disagree with it and might have other thoughts. But this is what I think. To keep everything in your life including your religion simple. Islam is a simple religion. People just love to make it complicated. Many problems the Muslims are facing today is due to these complications made by themselves.

Sometimes By Losing A Battle You Find A New Way To Win The War

One advantage of our losses is that we create better roads leading us to our goals. If one really misses what he wanted and could not achieve it, then he would be determined to get it through some way or the other. One year back I was stuck in a similar situation. I lost a great opportunity. Probably the loss seemed to be bigger to me than it actually was because I trusted in God too much and not myself. Or maybe I had believed that opportunity to be my one and only final destination. And when I lost, I felt helpless because I had closed all the other doors just for that particular door. We should always set multiple options and tracks to reach our goals. Atleast one thing which I learned from the loss was that I started to create opportunities instead of finding them or waiting for God to grant me an opportunity. I know creating an opportunity does not really help because in the end everything is in the hands of God. But while I was trying to create opportunities for myself, I got polished, learned many other things and above all explored new routes and even new goals which seemed to be more important to me than the previous locked door of the missed opportunity. At some points I also realized that the new goals which I had explored were more beneficial, easily achievable and even more attractive. I still miss the the missed chance and the lost key for the locked door everyday. I wish I could have it but today my feeling of wish is less intense than it was last year, because I have found other major doors which can help me enter the world I have always wanted. Through this one year journey I have realized that I am turning into a self made person instead of my old version who used to depend on people and shortcuts for her dreams. Self-made people can always get benefits through their skills when and where ever needed. On the other hand dependent people looking for shortcuts, sometimes get successful and are able to anchor their ships to a rigid support but if the rigid support falls down sometime then there is no guarantee of the dependent ship.